As I write this story, as much as I try to forget the trembling voice of Mrs Yemi (name withheld ) it kept on echoing in my mind and brain. Couple of weeks ago Mrs Yemi called me on the phone and asked if I can help train her 14 year old Son Ade in learning the DJ Craft, I also spoke to Ade on the phone and he sounded so excited telling me he wants to be like Dj mind d gap and even better.
The story I’m about to tell you is a wake up call for me personally to do something no matter how small in responding to the surge in gang related killings. And thanks to Mrs Yemi who gave me the permission to share her story, because of this case I’ve decided that I am going to be using my medium as a platform to assist troubled individual’s and families who might be going through a lot to reach out to the right help and support from concerned citizens.
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Mrs Yemi came to the UK 10years ago with her husband, Mr Kunle when Ade her son was just four years old and she was already pregnant with another child. For people who can relate with this; It’s not an easy thing to settle down in the UK with two kids if you don’t have the right documents to stay. This resulted into both couples having to take up all sorts of menial jobs like cleaning and house help to survive.
One fateful day Kunle was arrested by the UK border force at work for taking up a job illegally, he was deported back to Nigeria, leaving Yemi to cater on her own with two kids. Tragically Kunle did not spend 6 months in Nigeria before he passed away in a motor accident.
It was not an easy life for Yemi who managed to raise two kids on her own for good 3 years, in fact Ade was a God sent son from above,he his what most parent’s will call a good and quiet boy who was so intelligent that he received many awards for his academic performances at school. He also took up the role of a father in the house by helping and supporting his mum. Sometimes, Yemi will leave Ade and his sister at home to do early morning cleaning work without no worries because Ade was such a loving and caring big brother.
At last Yemi’s prayers was finally answered after many years of applications and appeals, the home office finally granted her and the kids leave to remain.
Yemi started to notice changes in Ade’s behaviour when he got into secondary school, for example keeping strange friend’s, being rude to her and numerous complain from the teachers and the school authority.
On this faithful morning, Yemi decided to do a general house cleaning including Ade’s room as she picked up the mattress from Ade’s bed she noticed something fell under the bed, she thought it was a mobile phone as she bent down to look, she got the shock of her life it was a gun!.
Currently there is a deadly wave of gang warfare taking over the streets of London with the police struggling to contain the rising tide of blood shed and since the start of this year 2018, more than 50 murders had taken place in London and many linked to gang wars. Now Yemi is battling with many questions that need answers.
- What is a gun doing in a 14-year-old boy’s room?
- Is Ade a member of a gang?
- What step can she take, to call the police or confront Ade?
Yemi is a regular reader of MINDDGAPENT BLOG POST and she wants to use her story to LEARN, SHARE and HELP people in similar situations.
Please leave a comment below if you have any useful advice or support.
TRUE LIFE LONDON STORY WILL BE APPEARING ON minddgapent.com blog every Sunday and also a radio and Facebook live discussion every Thursday at 9pm on UJR radio 101.1 fm. CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO GET A NOTIFICATION AND ALSO GET A FREE DOWNLOAD OF THE LATEST 2018 AFROBEAT MIXTAPE BY DJ MIND D GAP.
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You have made the right decision to lend your voice to the ongoing issues with family life in the UK God bless your good works.
Hmmm as for Yemi, I can only offer my prayers to God for herself and her son. I really dont know what to advice. May God help all parents.
To start with the boy needs a father figure or else whatever she tries will always go on deaf ears.When i mean a father figure am not saying she has to bring a man home by all means (This father figure can be a couain,friend any family member who will always be speaking to this boy and visit the house at every opportunity)
We should not forget that boys are never afraid of their mum no matter how strict she is.We have heard of young boys pulling out machete to their mother but never heard they pull a pin out to their dad or uncle so father figure ia the start of a long time solution we should not look for immediate solution but long term
Secondly this peraon has to be persiatant by ring everyday and making sure the boy is home when is the time to be at home.He should have time to sit down with him away from home to discuss any concerns he has,he can even go to the pub with him if this makes him relax to talk
Now to the issue of the gun,My opinion i will advise her to sit down with the son and a male figure he reapects and talk about how he got the gun and then go with him to a solicitor along with a lawyer.
Reason is the police always believe they can use someone who comes forward willingly to get more information and he will not be pushed to give information that might incriminate him or other people as this might cause a bigger problem for the boy and the entire family which might endanger his and the family’s life so the lawyer will be a check for the police.If they do not go to the police in the future if any serious offence happens the mother can be charged for accessory to commit crime,plus the family can be put on protectiin programme if they cooperate with the Authority.
This is a Very delicate and potentially complex and risky situation.
MaDCAP-Coaching.org.uk works with young people and offenders “Challenging Challenge” and believe there are many factors to take account of here.
The young man would definitely benefit from (our) specialist Coaching or other support such as mentoring or family/male membership of forward.
The problem of the firearm is much more difficult to approach and should have legal support alongside the above and possibly additional advocacy and mediation/intermediary support in order to protect/manage the young man’s interaction/repercussion from the authorities. The weapon cannot be returned to its “owners”, but there are also potential criminal recriminations if it’s disposal/surrender is not controlled well.
Praying Unfortunately won’t really help, but with support from the right people it will be possible to get a positive resolution to this dilemma.