Have you ever wondered the reason why a person that looks normal all of a sudden will behave in a very abnormal way for a few minutes and before you know it they are back to their normal self? Never judge by looks. People are going through a lot in their head and mind, and you won’t know unless they tell you. According to research one in six adults: 17percent of adults in England suffer from different types of mental disorder, which include anxiety and depression. This is the story of Cynthia (not real name) a Nigerian based in the UK, who was recently diagnosed of mental illness by her doctor, after attempting suicide. Read her story below:
My name is Cynthia; I’m a 28years old happily married woman with 2 lovely kids and blessed with the best husband any woman can pray for. I work in one of the top banks as a senior manager with over 20 staffs working under me. I am committed to religious activities as a youth leader in my church. I would say I live the life every woman will wish for but my whole life crumbled after receiving a text message.
One particular weekend I was relaxing at home with my children while my husband quickly went out to do the laundry, I received a text from an unknown number and the sender introduced herself as a lady who had been having an affair with my husband for almost 6 months and now three months pregnant for him. I was
in total shock that I lost my mind completely for a moment, I tried calling the number but the phone was switched off. I never discussed this with my husband for so many reasons, one, I’m expecting our third child, my husband is a pastor in church and lastly it was the week of our wedding anniversary.
I never spoke to anyone since the incident but I was having the darkest moment of my life at that time, I felt no one would understand me and I also had to protect my family, meanwhile I was looking for a fix from within. I started having a lot of fear in my mind and feeling angry about almost everything, I stopped talking to my husband in the house and he kept asking me what has come over me, in addition I started having problems with everybody like not getting along with family, friends and colleagues. I felt as if I was alone in my life and nowhere to go. In a nutshell I couldn’t function anymore.
I began to constantly have deep thoughts, feelings and was extremely emotional which became part of my daily life so I couldn’t focus on anything. I started finding it difficult to breathe, experienced heavy migraine, it was like my head was spinning so fast that sometimes I felt dizzy which disorientates me, and panicking became part of me, it reached a point where my entire body started to tingle in pain. I woke up one morning and I felt like I should drive into river Thames, just to end all the pain and suffering.
I finally decided to visit my doctor, and he began a series of test on me……
with medications like sleeping tablets yet there was no improvement until I was finally diagnosed with bipolar. At first I did not understand the meaning until he explained to me that it’s a mental illness.
I bluntly refused to accept it or undergo any treatment because I am scared and worried about how my family or the society will treat me if they found out I have mental illness and also considering the fact that I come from an African background where such is seen as taboo and the believe that you can never be completely healed of “madness” as Nigerians will tag any form of mental illness.
Please I need your help and advice, should I discuss the incident with my husband if doing so will it restore my sanity but I’m scared of the truth or should I just accept the bipolar diagnosis and carry on with the treatment which I’m also scared could have a side effect in the long run? Please leave a comment below because I am reading.